Do I Know You?
Posted in Blog by: LottieSometimes I wonder who I have become. I sit staring into the mirror and think “Would I like the person I am if I met me on the street?” Probably not. Not if I really knew me. I don’t think I am that different to the person I was 10 years ago, but the goal posts certainly have been moved.
I try my best to be a kind and decent person but I fear that the little devil on my shoulder has grown out of all proportion and is now sitting on the my little angels face like the dirty little fiend it is.
I hate that devil. I swat at it from time to time trying to shake it loose but yet there is remains, tempting me with all it’s diabolical winks. And God bless my angel, struggling out from under my devils fat over indulged ass to whisper little wonders in my ear, it does try.
So Angel, as I lay me down to sleep tonight, I promise to listen harder to the angel from now on.
September 11th, 2008 at 2:37 am
and just to make you feel worse, it it totally your fault that i spent the entire day faffing onfront of thehairstyler.com
September 11th, 2008 at 8:14 am
What did you do, Lottie? Did you rob an old lady?
September 11th, 2008 at 9:22 am
Well, I’m not sure if I would like myself… Although, I really would have no idea how I’d react meeting another person with a love of video games, web design, blogging and also has the same “mindset” as myself…
September 11th, 2008 at 9:54 am
Probably not. Not if I really knew me.
As much as I play the cheerleader normally, I find it difficult here to write “Ah but Lottie, you’re lovely!” because it’s exactly the type of compliment you’ll decide to ignore, especially on the basis that we’re friends.
I can’t claim to know you that well Lottie – I don’t remember your parents names, I’m not sure when your birthday is and I couldn’t tell you your favourite film, song or author without grasping wildly (Princess Bride / Slow and slushy / me
)
I do know thoughthat I think of you as one of my close friends.
I do know though that if there was something wrong, something I needed help or advice on or I needed a good hug, I’d go to you.
I know that any time we spend together is time that I enjoy. We share a similar sense of humour, of disdain and of “Yes, but does that really matter” that is hilarious to us in our own private world.
I’ve only known you over a year but I’ve noticed the changes in you, the confidences, the tricks and the emergence. And I like the Lottie I know now. She’s bitchy sometimes, straightforward and matter-of-fact most of the time and refreshingly BS free all of the time, and I like that.
And you give great hugs.
You’re certainly not Lucifer. I know this for a fact. Because that, my dear, is me.
September 11th, 2008 at 10:51 am
how sweet is the previous comment to you from Darragh!
we all have our own little devils that we battle with (sometimes on a daily basis, sometimes when it decides to poke its little horns out). we can’t always like what we see in the mirror, because that will mean we have lost all sense of humility in ourselves (and probably think we are the BEST thing ever created by God) which could never be a good thing to humanity for that matter.
a thought to share. i hope you are doing ok over there. i’m sure with a friend like Darragh close to you it would be!
September 11th, 2008 at 12:50 pm
Lottie,was the post an observation or based on an incident?Just curious!
I look back at myself 5/10 years ago i realise that although i’m more confident in myself that i was; there are still parts of my personality that i don’t like. I think it’s a fairly standard thing.
Like yourself, I try to remain friendly and kind to people but there are days where my interactions with others makes me question is it really worth it?
September 11th, 2008 at 1:10 pm
I promise to listen harder to the angel from now on.
Right. And where’s the fun in that?
September 11th, 2008 at 4:12 pm
@Red – Ha! See I am truly wicked! What did you think of the site?? Some of them are a little strange looking but it’s fun all the same.
@Jo – It’s silly self-indulgent refection that’s all. I need a holiday!
@Chris – You should meet my boyfriend!
@Darragh – shut up you old flirt! 9I love you two pinky…or is it brain?)And btw – It’s February 28th!!!
@Karina – yes he is a big soppy dope isn’t he?! I know what you mean about total self acceptance and you’re totally right. I think it’s just that time of year when everything needs a little re-jigging.
@Green of Eye – More of an over all observation – I had to do something really nasty yesterday I I realised that for the longest time I haven’t had a problem with who I have become and the things I do for my “career”. I lost a lot of confidence for a few years there and certainly my chosen profession has brought that confidence back but some days…..
I don’t tolerate people I don’t like – and I make no apologies for that. What’s the point if you don’t click or have any chemistry with them?
@Primal – That’s my problem. I’m too much about the fun and easy/lazy way about things. Now stop your evil tempting!
September 11th, 2008 at 4:43 pm
Angels are boring. I tried that and the t-shirt was awful.
I’d rather be a red devil anyday!
September 11th, 2008 at 5:41 pm
Sometimes the devil is the fun part…
September 11th, 2008 at 5:46 pm
Listen to you all. You’re such bad influences. Here I am trying to go straight and move away from a life of crime and GM and RP are cackling away at the broiling pot. Shameful behavior “ladies”.
September 11th, 2008 at 5:49 pm
He he he… I hope you can get the true meaning of He He he there!
September 11th, 2008 at 5:53 pm
Em – I don’t. What?
September 11th, 2008 at 6:52 pm
I don’t think any of us really feel that different as we get older (says the wise and birthdayed one) it only really becomes noticeable when you’re faced with something major and you realise you’ve handled it completely differently to the way you would have a few years ago.
In regards to being good all anyone can do is try their best not to be a cunt.
Thats my new mantra and I’m running with it.
September 11th, 2008 at 8:15 pm
Um, how bad are you on a scale of chewing-gum spitter to HSA executive?
September 11th, 2008 at 8:16 pm
Um, how bad are you on a scale of chewing-gum spitter to HSE executive?
(Oddness happened in first post. Cool edit widget thing though…)
September 11th, 2008 at 8:36 pm
Here’s the deal: We get a Large Hard-on Collider thing, right. And we send the Good Angel in one direction and the Bad Angel in the other. At nearly the speed of a night-link. Then when they meet, they’re’ll be all these Higgs Bosoms and Very Important Particles. If the Good Angel wins, we party. If he Bad Angel wins, we … I don’t know. Have a session, maybe.
September 11th, 2008 at 9:42 pm
It’s a he he he, in the no good sense of the phrase.. damn things losing their meaning in print…
September 11th, 2008 at 9:59 pm
I feel a bit like this too sometimes. I used care a lot more about what people thought but yeah, I guess as you ‘grow up’ so to speak you care less and are more straightforward with people. I’m a lot more honest now with my friends then I used to be, and there are a lot of people that I no longer bother with anymore because they don’t care too and I’m not worried about their feelings one bit.
I like to think that I’m a good person in general, I just have a low tolerance for eejits.
September 11th, 2008 at 10:00 pm
gah, I dunno what I did here but it won’t let me cancel my double comment, sorry!
September 11th, 2008 at 10:53 pm
Aw, you are an angel Lottie. You have angel hair, at least.
We should meet for drinks again soon btw.
September 12th, 2008 at 12:46 am
@Daddy or Chips -Which side of the scale is worse? I absolutely abhor people who spit and those who sit chewing gum should be castrated and then their genitals should br fried and fed to to them. No really. I do support this approach. Filth!
@Dublinista – Happy B-day again. I note I didn’t get an invite to the party….ahem….ahem….
@Primal Sneeze – I think the important thing is that we have a party, no matter what! I love the way your mind malfunctions.
@Vodoo – We have to have words! And no double posting….I think.
@Annie – Angel hair? Isn’t that some sot of drug? Yes drinks soon, no Now. okay now is a little late….okay soon. This week. Ok I am far too easily excited.
September 12th, 2008 at 12:54 am
we all need a bit of both eh……makes for good blogging too..hehehehehe
September 12th, 2008 at 8:31 am
I think everyone has an angel side and a devil side, but personally think it’s the frame of mind you’re in when you choose which one to listen to, for example, if you’re in a bad mood you’ll choose the devil side, if you’re in a good mood you’ll choose the angel side, however if you had the same decision to make again and your mood had changed, you’d see that your original decision may have changed.
I think when we look back over our life, there are part of ourselves/our lives that we don’t like and are ashamed of, but at the time it was the right decision we made at the time.
I also agree with Darragh, you are honest, blunt and tell the truth as you see it with no frills attached, and I think people appreciate that more then they would if you tip toed around it and sugar coated it. If you tell people the truth and it hurts, it’s not you being bad or listening to the devil, it’s you being a good and honest friend and people would appreciate that more then if you sugar coated everything and didn’t know if you were being genuine or fake.
September 12th, 2008 at 1:17 pm
Why is everyone praising you? I think you’re an awful git!
September 12th, 2008 at 1:21 pm
yes and look who we are all afraid of hitting..