The National Lottie

Growing up horror was always my first love of the film genres. I relished that feeling of fear knowing that outside the doors of the cinema, away from the screen there was the comfort and safety of the real world. My ninth birthday, or maybe my tenth involved a marathon of the Nightmare on Elm Street series, culminating in the newly released Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare 3d. My pre-pubescent cohorts and I gathered around our 14 inch, flimsy cardboard glasses in hand and let the fear embrace us. And so it went for many years.

But recently I have become jaded by the trawl of Craven wanna-bes and grotesque packages that the studios have latched onto as the definition of current horror. I want the fright, I want to sit glued to my seat both craving as much as dreading the next scare and tensing until my muscles hurt. What I don’t need to see someone being flayed alive while having their genitals shredded by ravenous dogs. I don’t want the dull brainless bombardment of gore in place of a story line. It’s not horror, it torture and it’s entirely different. It’s just lazy and insulting. (more…)

Repo: A Genetic Opera

Dark.

Kitsch.

Funny.

Sexy. (Well it does star Anthony Stewart Head)

Gruesome.

And definitely worth the wait.

Dark.

Kitsch.

Funny.

Sexy.

Gruesome.

And definitely worth the wait.

How to Lose Friends and Alienate People I hear you ask?

Make a movie like this. Shame on you Simon. Shame  shame shame!

It gets one kiss because Gillian Anderson looks great, there is one funny moment, I want to give Simon Pegg the benefit of the doubt and I turned it off half an hour from the end so there’s a slim chance that it may have gotten better.

I doubt it though.

I was disappointed to find that I would miss the JDIFF screening of Let the Right One In (or Låt den rätte komma in) on 21st February due to my attendance in Cork but D brought me home some pre-smushy love day presents tonight: the DVD and copious amounts of vino. I do love that boy!

It’s has to be the best movie I have seen this year. Beautiful. Dark. Satisfying.

Looks like Hollywood have set their eyes on it so unless your highly averse to subtitles I highly recomend getting your bum along to this or getting a copy of this  before it’s slaughtered by an LA studio.

Mickey Rourke plays Mickey Rourke and he does it brilliant. They couldn’t have cast the role better.

A really enjoyable movie that won’t change the world.

Looks shit right.

Unimaginative graphics on the cover. A title that sounds like a computer programme or a sexually transmitted fungus.

And it stars He who should never be nominated for a Golden Globe, Jean Claude Van Damme. I mean total shit. Right?

But claw out my eyes, scald my ears with hot oil and call me ma a whore, I really enjoyed it. God damn it all to hell anyway! Turns out there’s this big secret that Jean has been hiding for so many years – he’s funny and he can actually act (a bit).

It’s an action comedy drama kung-fu documentary and so far he most surprising movie I have watched this year. Or maybe I just had too much wine. You decide.

I have been making an effort to return to more regular cinema visits as I have become very lax for going to the movies since I left Dubland and gave up my UGC card. Not because I am too busy with work, college or other commitments but I am just too damn lazy to drive the 23 minutes to Dundrum.

However, I have seen a few movies in the past week and decided in the void of blog inspiration (I was going to go with blogspiration but it sounds a little filthy) to critic them.

Quantum of Solace.

One word springs to mind. FAIL.If this was a generic action movie it would never have seen release. Boring. Poor story line. Cheap action cutting and not nearly enough naked Daniel Craig.

Even as a Bond movie this doesn’t register.

On Her Majesty’s Secret Service was more memorable in that at least it had the guts to be spectacularly bad. This was just boring. I think M had more dialog than Bond butI would have to watch it again to be sure and that is not going to happen.

Zach & Miri make a Porno.

This film hurt. A lot. But in a really good way. I’m a huge Kevin Smith fan, Dogma probably being my all time favourite film so I might be a bit biased but I genuinely can’t remember the last time I laughed so hard at a movie. At one point I seemed to totally forget that I was in a packed cinema when I began to scream “Oh God Oh God Oh God” (comedy remember) aloud much to the disgust of the woman beside me. But she got hers. One word. Poo.